


Mistakes Were Made

by clexaisthewave



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: ABO, Alpha Lexa, Alpha Raven, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Clexa babies, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Jealous Lexa, Lexa and Raven are adopted sisters, Omega Clarke, Sad Clarke, Sad Lexa, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-14 21:24:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13598685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexaisthewave/pseuds/clexaisthewave
Summary: Years ago, Clarke and Lexa were together and happy. They were set to be mated and all was perfect in the world. Until Lexa made the biggest mistake of her life and then abandoned everyone, including Clarke. She comes back years later only to find Clarke seemingly has moved on and with a child. But what happens when she finds out that Clarke's child is also hers?





	Mistakes Were Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning : panic attack in this chapter

“Rae, can you drop up Alec off at preschool today? I want to get into the office early today.” Clarke says casually as she buttons her shirt up. Raven groans into her pillow and Clarke laughs. Raven is captain of the town’s fire department. On the days that she isn’t working, she likes to sleep in late.

“Yeah..do you want me to pick him up too?” Raven says as she stretches her tired limbs and yawns.

“If you could that would be great. Thanks Rae.” Clarke says with a smile. 

“Of course. He’s my kid too after all.” Raven says and Clarke has a bittersweet smile on her face.

“Yeah he is.” Clarke says, her eyes a little lost. This is her life now. Mated to Raven with a little boy. A beautiful boy with brown curls and green eyes. He’s the sweetest little boy around. He never yells or whines. He’s a mama’s boy too. He loves spending time with Clarke. He’s Clarke’s everything. Clarke couldn’t be happier..well expect maybe if someone else was still in her life. 

///

“Gammy, when’s dinner?” Alec says with a smile on his face. “Ims hungy.” Alec is five years old and absoutely adorable. It’s thanksgiving. 

“Dinner is in 15 minutes, sweetie.” Indra says gently. Indra is Raven’s mother. Every year, Clarke and Raven come to Indra’s house for thanksgiving. Raven’s younger sister Luna is there too with her boyfriend Derek. Gustus, Raven’s father is there. Titus, Raven’s crazy uncle is there too as well as Raven’s cousins Becca, Lincoln, and Nyko. It’s always a fun time. 

“Why do you go tell mommy and Uncle Nyko to stop watching football and be social?” Clarke says to her son in a teasing voice. Indra chuckles. She knows how much Raven and Nyko love football. Alec nods happily and runs toward the living room. “No running, honey.” Clarke calls out gently.

“Sorry Mama!” Alec screams and Indra smiles. 

“He’s very polite, Clarke. You are doing a great job with him.” Indra says as she slices the turkey. Clarke is finishing up mashing the potatoes. Clarke stops what she’s doing and looks up at Indra. 

“Thank you. That means a lot.” Clarke says gently. Indra has always liked her, all the way back to when she was dating Lexa. Lexa. That’s a name she desperately tries to shut out from her mind.

“The old Lexa would be proud of you too.” Indra says quietly, a deep sadness in her eyes. Clarke’s heart stops. Indra never brings up Lexa to her. Nobody does actually. Everyone knows how touchy of a subject it is. 

“I..” Clarke feels a large lump in her throat. Indra stops slicing the turkey and looks up at her daughter-in-law. 

“You don’t have to say anything.” Indra says with a sad smile. She misses her middle child so much. It has been years since she has seen her. Silence fills the room for a few minutes. Each woman returning to their cooking tasks.

“I still miss her sometimes... Is that.. is that crazy?” Clarke says quietly, her voice thick with emotion. Indra looks back up at her with a sad smile.

“It would be crazy if you didn’t.” Indra says simply. Both woman look at eachother, neither knowing what to say or do next. 

“I was told to stop watching football and rejoin the living.” Raven teases as she enters the kitchen, slicing through the tension in the air easily. Indra and Clarke change their facial expressions and the blonde smiles wide at her mate. 

“Well finally.” Clarke says with a smile. “You can help me and your mom finish up dinner.”

Raven jokingly grumbles about it. Indra smiles softly at Clarke and Clarke smiles back but it’s all bittersweet. After all, everything has been a little bittersweet since Lexa left. 

///

“Clarke, want an another drink?” Raven calls out as soon as Clarke gets back in the living room after putting Alec to bed. Christmas dinner was good as usual. Everyone sat around a large table and laughed and had a good time. But everyone still felt the Lexa shaped hole in the occasion. 

“Sure.” Clarke says casually. Every Christmas, Raven, Clarke, Luna, and all the cousins stay over Indra’s for the night. 

Everyone is laughing and drinking. Clarke sits close to Raven. She still feels uncomfortable sometimes. She has been a part of the family for years, but she used to be with Lexa. And now she’s Raven’s mate. Everyone accepts her but it’s still hard for her. She feels like everyone pities her sometimes.

The doorbell rings. Gustus gets up to answer the door. Nobody really pays attention, assuming it’s probably Titus coming back because he forget his leftovers or something. Clarke immediately feels a chill and pales. She doesn’t know why but something isn’t right. Then it hits her. _Lexa Lexa Lexa_. Lexa’s scent. Lexa is here.

Clarke tenses up and Raven immediately senses her worried pheromones as does the rest of the group.

“Are you okay?” Raven asks worriedly. 

“Lexa.” Clarke whispers loudly. Everyone tenses. They never talk about this.

“Clarke..” Raven says in a confused tone.

“Lexa is here.” Clarke says, her body stuck in fight or flight mode. She can’t move. Her heart feels like it’s about to explode, it’s beating so fast. 

“What?” Raven says and immediately stands up in protective mode. 

“Rae...” Clarke says, standing up and putting her hand on Raven’s arm to calm her down.

“Listen up everyone..I need you all to remember to act like mature adults.” Gustus’ strong voice booms from the dark hallway. There’s a figure behind him.

“Oh my god!” Indra sobs out and immediately runs toward Lexa. Gustus moves to the side as Indra envelops their middle child in a tight embrace. “You’ve come back to us.” Indra cries.

“Hi nomon.” Lexa says in a breatheless whisper as she hugs her Mom back. She hasn’t seen her in about 5 years. “I’ve missed you.”

Indra sobs some more. Everyone in the room is on their feet, anxiously looking around shocked. Lexa is back. It has been five years. Nobody thought she was ever going to return. Nobody knew where she was. 

Indra breaks the hug and cups her daughter’s cheeks, asking where she has been and how she is. Lexa smiles gently at her before looking around the room. She shifts her weight from one foot to another like she always has done when she was nervous. 

Clarke takes her in for a minute. She looks good, but then again, when has Lexa Woods not looked good? Lexa’s hair isn’t curly anymore. It’s straight and shorter than it used to be, shoulder level. She wears glasses now. Lexa used to hate wearing her glasses out in public but I guess now she doesn’t mind as much. The years have been kind to her. She’s wearing a black blazer that fits her frame well and dark wash denim jeans. 

Clarke feels weak. She’s going to pass out, she can feel it. Her fingers feel numb, like they have lost circulation. Her hands are clammy. She feels herself sweating all over all of a sudden. Her stomach is knots. She feels like she’s on the verge of throwing up. Her vision is starting to blur. Her heart is beating so fast that she can hear it in her ears. Clarke feels her knees buckle and all of a sudden, she’s on the floor. She knows what this is. A panic attack. She hasn’t had one of these since her early college days, years and years ago. 

“Clarke?! I think she’s having a panic attack!” Raven says worriedly. Everyone’s attention turns to her which only makes it worse. Clarke feels like she can’t breathe. Her breathing is short and rapid and she can’t stop it. 

“Breathe. Just breathe, Clarke.” She hears the voice but can’t see the face. Everything is blurry now. Her vision is black and white and she can feel herself close to losing consciousness. “Listen to how I’m breathing. Breathe with me..that’s it just like I am.” The voice is Lexa’s. It grounds her. 

Breathing in and out, in and out, in and out. She feels Lexa take her hand and place it on Lexa’s chest. Clarke can feel Lexa’s even heartbeats under her fingertips. It’s calming. It’s helping her. It’s exactly what Lexa used to do back in college when Clarke would have a panic attack in front of her. Clarke is suddenly hit with an onslaught of memories. First ‘I love yous,’ date, first kiss, last fight, the end.

_“I love you, Clarke. I…I am in love with you. You don’t have to say it back and I..I know it’s really soon but I love you. God, I’ve…I’ve never be in love before. I..it’s such an amazing feeling. It’s like I’m drowning in you and..well I wouldn’t have it any other way.”_

_“Do you think I could..I mean I know we are supposed to just be friends and don’t get me wrong I love being your friend but do you think I could maybe kiss you?”_

_“You’re so selfish! You should have told me you were applying to jobs across the fucking country. You should have told me, Clarke! Do you even care about us? I can’t believe you. I need some air before I say something I’ll regret.”_

_“Please, I love you. I love you. I’m so sorry. She meant nothing. Clarke! Clarke, don’t run away from me. I love you. I’m so fucking sorry. Clarke, I love you. Please. Give me another chance. I love you.”_

Clarke’s breathing starts to slow down and she starts to regain her vision. When she comes to, she’s wrapped up in Lexa’s arms. Lexa is looking at her and Clarke feels like she might pass out all over again. 

“Lexa?” Clarke says in a shaky whisper. 

“I um…hey Clarke.” Lexa says in a pained voice. Raven growls and Lexa clears her throat and respectfully backs out of the embrace with Clarke.

“I was just helping, Raven. You clearly didn’t know how to help your own mate.” Lexa snaps back and Raven growls loud. 

“Both of you enough!” Indra growls. “This is not going to end like last time.” Indra says firmly.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you big sis, but what are you doing back here, Lexa?” Luna says carefully. 

Lexa shrugs. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes.” Lexa says shakily.

“That’s an understatement.” Raven sasses. Lexa swallows deeply but continues.

“But I’m tired of running away. I want to make things right.” Lexa says, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s.

“No. You can’t just come back in here and say a few words and expect us to all forgive you.” Raven spats out.

“Rae..” Luna warns her.

“No Lun! You didn’t really see how Lexa’s cheating and abandonment destroyed Clarke’s omega.” Raven says angrily. 

“Well you sure took care of Clarke’s omega didn’t you.” Lexa furiously spits out. “What about your mistakes, Raven?” Lexa says and Anya scoffs. “You mated my fiancée! What about sisterhood?! I would have never done that to you.”

“You don’t know anything, Lexa! You’re just as clueless as ever. I did what I had to. I was there for Clarke when you weren’t. I was there for her when she needed me.” Raven screams and Lexa bitterly laughs.

“Oh that’s rich. You were there for her all right…you probably didn’t even wait for my side of the bed to be cold before you tried to make a move on her. I always saw how you looked at her!” Lexa growls. 

“Enough!” Clarke screams out. “Stop acting like I am not here!” Clarke growls out. Both alphas heads hang in shame. “Lexa, why are you back?” Clarke says, her voice tired. 

“I want to make things right. Not just with you, Clarke. With nomom and dad and even you, Anya. I have to respect that you and Clarke are now together. I..when things got hard, I ran away and self destructed. I lost some of the best things in my life by doing that. I..I’ve been trying really hard for the past few years to get better. I..”

“Mama?” Alec calls out sleepily, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. He’s clutching onto his blanket and his brown curly hair is ruffled and messy. Everyone goes silent.

Lexa stops speaking and stares at the little boy in front of her. He’s beautiful. Lexa feels her heart stop. 

“Oh baby, did we wake you?” Clarke says and Alec nods with a pout.

“Too loud.” Alec whines. Clarke picks him up and kisses his temple.

“I’m sorry sweetie.” Clarke says, not even thinking about Lexa.

“Who’s that?” Alec asks curiously and points at Lexa. 

“Is..who’s…” Lexa stutters and is at a loss for words. The boy looks so much like her. He couldn’t be hers…could he?

“Why don’t I tuck Alec back in?” Luna says, swooping in and taking Alec from Clarke’s arms.

“Is he mine?” Lexa shakily says once Luna and Alec are out of the room.

“Lexa..” Clarke says slowly.

“IS HE MINE?!” Lexa screams out, her heart going a hundred miles a minute. Is this her and Clarke’s child? She left before because she thought Raven and Clarke were together but now maybe that wasn’t the case. Now she might have a child. No, she knows it’s her child. She could see it in his eyes. She can’t believe she left. She can’t believe how many mistakes she has made. But no matter what happens, she promises herself she will get to know her son...and maybe earn Clarke’s forgiveness and love along the way.


End file.
